My Mind is the Tool

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Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
we go together like a skunk goes with it's stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds......

IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

Luv, from yor romeo

P.S. I think yore slicker'n deer guts on a door nob.
You mean all the world to me.
Without you I can't be free.
You make me pant considerably.
You're my love guppy.

You have the finest rosebud's taste.
Without you my life is waste,
I'll stick to you like Elmer's paste.
You're my love guppy.

I'd break through a citadel.
I'd fight with a raging bull,
Though winning would seem improbable.
You're my love guppy.

My love's as strong as the mid-ocean ridge.
You shine like the rainbow bridge
or like that light inside my fridge.
You're my love guppy.

For you I'd consume haggis,
or lose the joys of Bacchus,
or live in sin with Mike Dukakis.
You're my love guppy.

No time's too long for me to wait.
For you, I'd fight against Fate,
though maybe you could lose some weight,
You're my love guppy.

Without you, I'd be not whole,
I would have to sell my soul,
or gulp a quart of Tide-E-Bowl.
You're my love guppy.

My passion is always mounting.
I'm like a geyser founting.
Well, maybe not, but who's counting?
You're my love guppy.

The love that is the more intense
always has the most silence,
like quiet bursts of flatulence.
You're my love guppy.

I know that my love is true.
I know that you'll love me too,
or I'll hold my breath 'till I turn blue
You're my love guppy.

I'd not forget you if I tried.
You make me all warm inside.
My love's as pure as Naugahyde.
You're my love guppy.

Then I hear the words let slip
From betwixt impatient lips,
"I want to have a relationship.
You're my love guppy."
I look at you with love
And perhaps a little lust
I know you feel the same for me
You must, you must, you must

You really probably don't though
You think that I'm a prat
You don't know the difficulty
I have accepting that

Do you have any idea
Just how that makes me feel?
Like a pot of yoghurt
That's been left out to congeal

Like a dying flower
That is wilting in the sun
Don't have any happiness
I've got no room for fun

We're meant to be together
There's a spiritual joint
Life without you's like a broken pencil -
It hasn't got a point.


I really really love you
My heart and mind both ache
I really do have no idea
Just how much I can take

I want to be with you
Every second of my life
I want you to bear my children
I want you to be my wife

You are a wondrous goddess
As beautiful as Venus
You make a stirring in my heart
And also in my, er, stomach

You are truly wonderful
Beautiful and good
You make my heart beat wildly
And you also give me wood.

I know that you would like it
I can satisfy you, thrill you
But you don't seem to want that
So I guess I'll have to kill you.
(Written by Miguel A. Wilder)

This muscle between my legs is good for fertilizing your eggs,
but it will never make, or break our love affair.

Although it gives you great pleasure, and those moments I do treasure,
it will never be the main way to show I care.

This reveals the fact, that sex is just an act,
and love is never anything one should fall into.

I may sound like a fool, when I say my mind is the tool,
that I'll use to make love to you.

It may be big, firm, thick, strong...it may even last long,
but never as long as the image of me in your thoughts.

I feel you sister, when you say all the other misters,
never took you there, but it ain't my fault.

I love to touch, I love to feel, but first and formost,
I love to keep it real.

You know this to be true.

Although our physical acts, bring you the ultimate climax,
my mind is the tool, that I'll use to make love to you.

Wonderess emotion in a mixed up love potion...
a combination of the mental, and the physical.

Some might think that cybersex is along the same lines as this text,
but no...that's way too digital.

1-900...you know the rest, or at least by now you've heard.

verbal stimulation, via phone conversation,
make me laugh it's so absurd.

I need you close to me, saying somthing, or saying nothing,
so long as we're sharing the same breath.

This muscle in which I've been speaking, is good for steady freaking,
but the thought I leave you with will last 'til death.

Nothing is sweeter, than when a woman knows her man needs her,
and a man who knows his woman needs him too.

Let me say in closin', that it's you that I've chosen,
and my mind is the tool that I'll use to make love to you.