Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx    Submitted by: Curtis (8/26/02)
Category: Humor   ( Permanent link to quote )

I could never learn to like her - except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
Mark Twain    Submitted by: Curtis (8/26/02)
Category: Humor   ( Permanent link to quote )

In Wyoming they name girls Skye. In Newfoundland it's Wavey.
E. Annie Proloux    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (7/9/02)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

I became me without my consent
Anonymous    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (6/23/02)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition
Alexander Smith    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (12/15/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

We have enough religion to hate each other, but not enough to love each other
Jonathan Swift    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (12/15/01)
Category: Religion   ( Permanent link to quote )

A father complained to Rabbi Israel ben Eleazar: "My son has forsaken God; what shall I do?" "Love him more than ever" was the rabbi's reply
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (12/15/01)
Category: Religion   ( Permanent link to quote )

Love is blind so let's just go by our sense of touch.
Anonymous    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (12/15/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.

(From the movie "The Third Man")
Orson Welles    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (12/15/01)
Category: Philosophy   ( Permanent link to quote )

If you love all things, you will also attain the divine mystery that is in all things. For then your ability to perceive the truth will grow every day, and your mind will open itself to an all-embracing love.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (12/15/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

Music is love in search of a word
Anonymous    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (12/15/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet
Plato    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (12/15/01)
Category: Philosophy   ( Permanent link to quote )

Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously headed for early success, but rather, an ability to work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed. The more unpropitious the situation in which we demonstrate hope, the deeper that hope is.

Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. it is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
Vaclav Havel    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/30/01)
Category: Philosophy   ( Permanent link to quote )

Homer: Kids, let me tell you about another so-called [makes quotation marks with fingers] ``wicked'' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?
Homer Simpson    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/19/01)
Category: The Simpsons   ( Permanent link to quote )

A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
Homer Simpson    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/19/01)
Category: The Simpsons   ( Permanent link to quote )

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Woody Allen    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/19/01)
Category: Religion   ( Permanent link to quote )

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/19/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

Look, I know all your questions and you know all my answers. Aren't we just wasting each other's time? Just write down what you'd think I'd say and, at the end of the year, I'll give you a bottle of vodka and we'll be even.

(to reporters during a post game interview)
Janne Laukkanen    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/19/01)
Category: Sports   ( Permanent link to quote )

One day President Roosevelt told me that he was asking publicly for suggestions about what the war should be called. I said at once 'The Unnecessary War'.
Winston Churchill    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Politics   ( Permanent link to quote )

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
Winston Churchill    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Politics   ( Permanent link to quote )

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.
Winston Churchill    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Politics   ( Permanent link to quote )

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
Oscar Wilde    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Literature   ( Permanent link to quote )

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
Oscar Wilde    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Philosophy   ( Permanent link to quote )

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.
Oscar Wilde    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Philosophy   ( Permanent link to quote )

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
Oscar Wilde    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Fashion   ( Permanent link to quote )

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
George Bernard Shaw    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Philosophy   ( Permanent link to quote )

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
George Bernard Shaw    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Politics   ( Permanent link to quote )

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Philosophy   ( Permanent link to quote )

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
George Bernard Shaw    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Philosophy   ( Permanent link to quote )

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Philosophy   ( Permanent link to quote )

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (11/1/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

He asked me if I knew what time it was -- I said yes, but not right now.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

I was pulled over for speeding today. The officer said, "Don't you know the speed limit is 55 miles an hour?" And I said, "Yes, but I wasn't going to be out that long."
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy argument about what I considered an Odd number.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

I woke up this morning and discovered that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact replica. I told my roommate, "Isn't this amazing? Everything in the apartment has been stolen and replaced with an exact replica." He said, "Do I know you?"
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well. I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Sex   ( Permanent link to quote )

Love is that condition in which The happiness of another person Is essential to your own.
Robert Heinlein    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

There's always room for love; You just have to move a few things around.
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

When you realize You want to spend The rest of your life with somebody,

You want the rest of your life To start as soon as possible.
When Harry Met Sally    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

You're why cavemen chiseled on walls.
Jack Nicholson    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

Immature love says, "I love you because I need you." Mature love says, "I need you because I love you."
Erich Fromm    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
Comte DeBussy-Rabutin    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

love, n.:

When you like to think of someone on days that begin with a morning.
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

Love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.
Saint Exupery    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

love, v.:

I'll let you play with my life if you'll let me play with yours.
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

Joy is wealth and love is the legal tender of the soul.
Robert G. Ingersoll    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Love   ( Permanent link to quote )

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

Lady Godiva of Coventry, in 1057, so exasperated her husband pleading that he lower taxes that he agreed but only if she'd ride through town naked. She did. He did.
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Politics   ( Permanent link to quote )

BREAKFAST ANYTIME, said the sign, so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
Steven Wright    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Weird   ( Permanent link to quote )

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Politics   ( Permanent link to quote )

I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half the money.
Arthur Godfrey    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Finance   ( Permanent link to quote )

The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax, is not having to pay an income tax.
Lord Thomas R. Dunwar    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Finance   ( Permanent link to quote )

Grandparents and grandchildren are natural allies against a common enemy.
Toynbee    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Family   ( Permanent link to quote )

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.
Katherine Whitehorn    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Finance   ( Permanent link to quote )

LACK of money is the root of all evil.
George Bernard Shaw    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Finance   ( Permanent link to quote )

In 1860, usury ceilings in most states were 6% or 7%, though higher in such risky places as Texas and California. Virginia and North Carolina made usurers disgorge twice the total debt.
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Finance   ( Permanent link to quote )

Asked what he thought about Western civilization, Gandhi is said to have replied: It would be a good idea.
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Politics   ( Permanent link to quote )

Hammurabi, around 1800 BC, set the maximum interest rate at 33-1/3% per annum for loans of grain repayable in kind, 20% for loans of silver. The Romans limited interest to 8-1/3%.
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Finance   ( Permanent link to quote )

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.
Adlai Stevenson    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Finance   ( Permanent link to quote )

YIDDISH PROVERB: With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome and you sing well, too.
Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Finance   ( Permanent link to quote )

Money is like fire, an element as little troubled by moralizing as earth, air and water. Men can employ it as a tool or they can dance around it as if it were the incarnation of a god. Money votes socialist or monarchist, finds the profit in pornography or translations from the Bible, commissions Rembrandt and underwrites the technology of Auschwitz. It acquires it's meaning from the uses to which it is put.
Lewis H. Lapham    Submitted by: RustyBrooks (10/31/01)
Category: Finance   ( Permanent link to quote )

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